


Soulmarks Are Assholes

by Geneviev



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Character Death, Poor Nico, Poor Percy, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Trans Bianca di Angelo, Trans Character, Trans Nico di Angelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:00:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26043865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geneviev/pseuds/Geneviev
Summary: When you live in a world where soulmates are real, it is easy to forget that soulmates do not equal happiness. But sometimes, if you are really lucky, it does.Or,Percy Jackson has a Bianca di Angelo on his wrist. Too bad that he fell in love with a Nico di Angelo.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 215





	Soulmarks Are Assholes

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that if soulmate identifying marks would be real, they’d show the person’s real name and real gender, not the one they’d want to forget. But, in this case, I just wanted to discover the delicious angst of the what if a Bianca di Angelo were written in Percy’s wrist.

Bianca di Angelo.

His Name was such a pretty name.

He always liked the sound of it; it sounded musical, and it amazed him that an actual angel was his soulmate. Gabe told him he didn’t deserve a soulmate, let alone somebody with a pretty name like this, but his mother was always there, telling him that he deserved her, and they would be perfect for each other. Because she was his soulmate - of course they will be perfect for each other!

Soulmate.

The perfect piece of an incomplete puzzle.

Everybody was born with a soulmate tattoo on their wrist – there was no exception. The children were raised on bedtime stories where the princesses were saved by their soulmate princes, teenage girls would dream about their One True Love, and the gossip magazines fawned over the celebrities’ Names and their fairy tale happy endings.

But in reality, it was not that easy and not that happy either. Even if everybody had a Name, oftentimes they couldn’t find their soulmate. Sometimes the Name was in another language, or a generic one, like John Smith. Sometimes they were not compatible with each other. Sometimes a victim found out that their rapist was their soulmate or a victim’s parents found out that their child’s soulmate was the murderer.

Some people didn’t like the universe’s offer and rejected their soulmate to date with whoever they want to. Some people were so much older than their soulmates that they died before the younger one could born. There were cases where the soulmate pair divorced because of abuse, cheating, or anything in-between. Sometimes the universe gave someone a soulmate with the wrong gender. And sometimes one couldn’t find their soulmate because they changed their name. They just didn't want to talk about that the majority of the soulmate pairs are doomed to fail.

So, even if soulmates were the ideals, the Hollywood-dream, and the fairy tale ending everybody secretly wished for, most of the time it was a big disappointment.

Like other boys and girls, little Percy was also full of hope, but as he grew, he became more and more skeptical about soulmates. If there was a perfect somebody for everybody, then why Sally Jackson, the best mother in the world, was together with an abusive asshole like Gabe Ugliano? He couldn't understand it.

An older, thirteen-year-old Percy, knew that the gods are at fault of everything that is wrong with the world and with the Names. He knew it was Aphrodite who fucked up everyone’s love life. He knew that he should blame her because of soulmates, but he couldn’t help but blame himself.

It was after he saved Bianca and Nico di Angelo, the demigod siblings from a manticore when he realized that there was something wrong with his Name. Or maybe there was something wrong with him. Because the name on his wrist wasn’t right, it wasn’t a name he wanted. She was nice, she was beautiful but she wasn’t the right person for him.

He felt conflicted when Bianca decided to become a Huntress. Part of him wanted to try something with her because they were soulmates, but mostly he felt relieved. At first, he thought it was because he was young and everything his mother lived through made him afraid of soulmates, but after a long and emotional talk with Silena Beauregard, he figured out it was more complicated than that.

The truth was, no girl was the right person for him.

His talk with Silena was a confusing one. Her Name was Clarisse, but they weren’t together. They were best friends, but she was with Charles Beckendorf, from the Hephaistus cabin. Percy couldn’t help but ask her about it.

“Silena, can I ask about your…?” Percy couldn’t finish his question, but Silena smiled gently and showed him her wrist.

“Clarisse is my best friend. I love her, but I’m in love with Charlie. Love is a beautiful thing, but it comes in different forms. I’m grateful that she is in my life and that she is my soulmate, but the Names can’t tell you how to feel about your soulmate. Bianca has the right to choose to be a virgin huntress, and you have the right to not feel anything for her. Being soulmates doesn’t deprive you of your free will. You are still young, both of you have other problems to think about. Maybe you are gay, maybe you are bisexual, maybe you just don’t want a romantic relationship. Maybe she is lesbian, maybe she is asexual, maybe she hates boys or maybe she just wants to have a choice in her life. It is okay.” Silena’s speech was confusing and a bit too much for Percy to handle. But it helped - a little bit.

The realization, that he felt off about his Name was because he might be gay made him uncomfortable and more reckless than usual. He wanted to prove himself that he could be good for his Name even if she swore loyalty to Artemis and joined in her Hunt, rejecting her soulmate.

The quest was a shitstorm. He managed to save his Wise Girl, a goddess, and even the world, but he failed to protect his soulmate. He had to go home and tell her little brother that she was dead and it was his fault. He felt awful because even if he didn’t want a romantic relationship with her, he wanted to get to know her. He felt horrible because he was responsible for the death of his soulmate and the death of Nico’s only relative. The boy was understandably angry at him, Percy knew he screwed up and that he deserved Nico’s hate.

He felt he was a failure.

Since she died because of his mistake, he wanted to make his Name disappear. He didn't want to look at the writing on his wrist. But at the same time, he felt it was the best way to remind himself to never let anybody die because of him. First, it was his way to torture himself, it was his penalty, his punishment, but then it became a reminder that he was a failure at everything.

Everybody depended on him, and he failed at saving the demigods. At saving Charles, Silena, Ethan, Lee, Michael, Castor... Luke...

He had a girl’s name in his wrist, and he managed to fall in love with her brother.

She died because of him, her brother hated him, yet he was such a screw-up, he fell in love with Nico di Angelo.

See? A failure.

He didn’t want to fell in love with the son of Hades, but when they met in Camp Jupiter, without the baggage that came with their history, he couldn’t help but fell heads over heel for Nico. The only problem was when he figured out that his whole name was Nico di Angelo, as the surname on his wrist.

The air was a bit stifled when Percy asked him whether he knows a Bianca di Angelo, but when Nico told him that she has been dead for a long time, Percy felt no regret. He was more intrigued by the Ambassador of Pluto than somebody who he didn't know. The other demigod was mysterious, gentle but firm, he was everything Percy ever wanted.

Then he got back his memories.

Then Nico was gone.

Then Percy and Annabeth went through Tartarus.

And don't even mention the big fight between them and Gaia’s forces. So it wasn1t a surprise that every thought about soulmates and love were blown away.

But then they won, and the victorious Seven, Reyna and Nico arrived safely at Camp Half-Blood. It was time for a bit of self-reflection.

Percy rubbed his wrist where his soulmate tattoo was and stared at it. It was the same as it was before, nothing changed even after her death. It was the same gray, cursive name, Bianca di Angelo.

It was always gray. Not like the vibrant color of a healthy soulmate mark, not the faded white of a dead one. No, it was a gloomy, depressing, pale gray. He couldn’t think a time where it wasn’t like this.

He looked at the Name and sighed. He was so immersed in his depressing thoughts, he didn’t realize that somebody was walking towards him.

“Percy, can we talk?” asked a nervous Nico. Percy glanced at him confused but nodded. He thought Nico was in Camp Jupiter, with his living sister, Hazel, and with his new best friend, Jason.

“Sure”, he answered, but didn’t move. He felt more grounded while sitting on the stage, his legs hanging into the lake.

“Could we walk somewhere a little more private?” Nico seemed a bit skittish, so Percy couldn’t help but worry. He stood up and followed the younger-yet-older boy while thinking that this won't end well. There were so many unsolved problems in their lives so maybe now they would get some issues out open. Percy didn’t want to lose Nico, but he was ready to receive whatever Nico wanted to say or to do to him.

They walked in silence back to Nico’s cabin, where they could be as alone as they could be in the camp. They sat on the only available surface, Nico’s bed, as far as they could from each other. Percy fidgeted, plucked the hem of his shirt. The rhythmic beat of his shaking leg was the only sound in the cabin.

Silence.

Nico pulled up his knees to his chest to rest his chin on them and to make himself as small as he could be.

Silence.

Percy sighed and wiggled a bit to be more comfortable.

Silence.

Nico glanced at Percy and cleared his throat.

Silence.

“So…” Percy started but stopped immediately. There was nothing in his mind, he forgot how to form whole sentences.

“I…” Nico’s voice was faint, but when he cleared his throat once again, it became a bit more confident. “I want to talk about my Name”, he said finally.

Out of the million things to talk about, it would have been Percy’s last thought. He didn’t know Nico’s soulmate’s name but he figured out it was either Will’s or somebody unknown’s, so he couldn’t understand why would they talk about it. But okay, if it made Nico happy, Percy would deal with it.

“I don’t exactly know how to tell you this, but… um… I sort of… kind of… I mean, I know what you think about yours, but I promise it is not what you think, because…” Percy was losing the plot as Nico's words were getting more and more confusing.

“Nico, stop! I don’t understand what are you talking about!” Where the Hades was Nico going with this? He was getting anxious; the suspense was carving years off of Percy’s life and he felt his hair getting grayer. Okay, no, but it made him nervous and uneasy.

Nico sighed like he was in pain, and rolled his sleeve up. Percy felt his heart drop, he didn't want to see what was on Nico's wrist, but when he saw the Name, he swore his mind stopped working.

Perseus Jackson.

The Name on Nico’s wrist was Perseus Jackson.

“I don’t understand”, said Percy faintly. The thing with soulmarks was that it was returned. If somebody had a name on their wrist, their name was on the other’s wrist. It was a reciprocated bond. But there must have been a misunderstanding because the name on his wrist was still Bianca di Angelo.

Not Nico di Angelo, as much as Percy wanted it to be.

„She was born as Nico di Angelo. I was born as Bianca. We just… switched when we realized that we were born in the wrong body. We were in the Hotel, so there was no need to do anything. We didn't even think about it, about the consequences, or anything. One day I was her, then I was me. When Alecto came for us, we just told her that she made an error with our identity. That we were always like this: an older sister and a younger brother. We liked the names, so we kept them, it reminded us of our mom. We didn’t even think about that it may be strange, or wrong, we only started to question ourselves when we spent more than a few minutes in the real world. In the Hotel, everything was… everything was fine. If somebody wanted to do something, other than leaving, there was no barrier, no complication. It was almost better there…” Nico’s words were uncomprehensive for Percy.

It was almost like Nico was saying that…

He was born as Bianca di Angelo?

That he…

He was his soulmate?

Nico either didn’t notice or he didn’t care about the turmoil he caused Percy because he continued talking like it was impossible to repress his feelings and thoughts anymore. „Nobody knew. I mean, from the camps. Dad knows, of course, and he told his wife. I think. Bia told it Lady Artemis to make sure she was accepted, but otherwise, I was always a boy, and she was always a girl for anybody else. When we met with… with the _Love God_ … That was when Jason found out my two biggest fears and secrets: that I wasn’t born in a boy’s body, and that I’m utterly in love with you. I’m sorry…”

It felt like an eternity until Percy spoke.

“Don’t apologize for needing time to figure yourself out. I’m happy it happened, I’m happy that you’re you,” he whispered to Nico. It was strange, it was confusing as fuck, but if he got Nico as his soulmate, he was in. He didn't understand a lot of things, but.

Nico was his soulmate. He didn't have to understand more.

Nico’s smile was a shy, faint thing, but then his face darkened.

„Persephone promised me that if we won, she would make me a real boy. Not with surgery, but with her godly power. We won, so now I’m a boy. I’m really a boy, I don’t have to look at myself and feel disgusted with how I look. But, I know that you are not gay. I know you liked the idea that your soulmate was Bia. I know that and I love you so, so much, but I needed this. Even if you won’t love me like this, I’m a boy. I can’t change myself; I can’t be _her_.” He almost shouted the last words, but Percy didn’t care about that. He asked with his eyes whether he could touch Nico, and when the younger boy nodded, he gently pulled him into his arms and hugged him.

„You don’t need to be. You are perfect as you are. I wanted to get to know her because I thought she was my Name, but I was not in love with her, I was attracted to you. Even if I was upset and disgusted with myself, I didn’t have enough strength in me to forget you and how I feel towards you. Nico di Angelo, I’m in love with you. I’m in love with a handsome, brave, lovable, caring, protective, and utterly perfect boy.”

Kissing Nico – his soulmate! – was different from what he expected. He always imagined kissing Nico would be a little rough because of the repressed anger and issues, that Nico would take control, maybe pin him to a wall or his bed.

Instead, the kiss was a bit hesitant, a soft little peck on his mouth. Nico seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands or what to do with the turn of the events, so Percy took the lead. He broke their kiss a bit to crawl into a more comfortable position, then he crowded Nico into the black pillows of his bed. He tangled his fingers into the Italian's black curls and pressed his lips to Nico’s. He coaxed his mouth open to meet his tongue and with his right hand, he caressed Nico’s left wrist where their soulmark was.

He wanted to show Nico that he wanted him, he wanted to touch him and love him. That he was in love with Nico di Angelo, his very much man of a soulmate.

Slowly, they broke their kiss. Nico’s expressive eyes showed that he was still not convinced that this was real, but it also showed happiness and love.

“I have an idea!” grinned Percy. “Wait here”, he said and got off of Nico’s comfortable lap and ran out of the Hades cabin. It was a quick run to his cabin, where he got a permanent marker from his stuff and dashed back to his soulmate.

His soulmate. It was still an inconceivable thing to think about, but the fluffy feeling that came with the thought was pretty appealing.

When he gets back to Nico’s cabin, the boy looked gloomy and sad, but at the appearance of Percy he brightened up.

“So, even if my soulmark is an asshole, I can make it better!” Percy declared and he started to blacken out the Bianca on his wrist just to write a Nico above it. “See? It looks so much better!” he grinned. His smile immediately turned into a frown when he saw how upset Nico was, so when the boy attacked him with loving kisses it came as a surprise.

“I love you, Perseus Jackson”, Nico whispered into his mouth.

“I love you too, Nico di Angelo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me at [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justonemorechaptercoldflash)


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